Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
