I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
