Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
