I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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