so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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