I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
