I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
