Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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