one might say we're banned from that church
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
