they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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