I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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