Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
