why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
