i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize