Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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