He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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