So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
