you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
