she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
