I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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