Fuck appropriateness.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
