I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
