you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
