but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
