I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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