Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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