I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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