How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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