well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
