I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize