Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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