I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
