check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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