I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize