the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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