the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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