And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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