I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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