Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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