Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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