Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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