Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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