Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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