Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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