i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There's always time for handjobs
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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