Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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