He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
