When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
