her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
