Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
