She is in my trunk
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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