White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
