is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
