Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
