I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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