your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
