As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
