I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
