she looked like the before picture.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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