I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
